Not much to write....just kinda here in a hyper type way. Been rping! Lots of fun. gots a b-day coming up soon! Well gonna go. toodles.

Much luv!

~Talsy~

Well, I guess I'm in one of my more depressive type moods. I'm sick, I'm tired, I've got way to frickin much homework...and my brain's been workig overtime.

I just thought about how my life has turned out so much like my stories while I was in the tub. Yeah, I know I've written myself into a lot of my stories, but the funny thing is the characters I've created after me aren't like me anymore. The endings are all too familiar, the anti-fairytale!

Rosalynde, the naive little girl running away from love and falling hard for the wrong guy and sticking with him is the old me...the helpless victim in the story. She beleived that ending her life would end the trouble...

Now I feel like the hero of that story, Ashar. No, not because I am in any way like a usual hero...he's the hero only because he fights for whats right and beleives in good even when it is no longer apparent which seems all to usual to me. He loves Rosa even after he prophesied that she would marry someone else, and that she would never love him. Even though he knows she will never love him he still tries to keep her from being with the person that is just using her and in the process ends up killing one of his best friends for her life. In the end he rides off  with a broken spirit and  no hope. She's married, and happily oblivious to the fact that she's being used by the man she beleives loves her the most... *sighs*

I've never been able to write happy endings. When someone realizes they've met their soulmate that person dies, or someone holds back their feelings until the other has moved on...or the person just sits back and watches everything play out without a word, or maybe their soul mate is right in front of them and they never stop to notice. Because, truth be told, isn't that how it works most of the time? People don't realize what they have until it's gone... It's such a sad thought, but oh so true. You never really understand what all something means to you until you no longer have it.

You take for granted each sight until your blind, each person until you've lost them, and each breath until you drown. No time to take things back, to live like you would have had you known, to wonder if all your doing is wasting life. I find myself taking for granted several things everday and it never ceases to amaze me how much others do too.

Well, I'm done, I think...till later!

Currently Listening Underage Thinking By Teddy Geiger see related

Hmmf...almost didn't find this. I curled it up into a little tiny ball. Here goes nothing...

I don't quite understand why i'm writing this. I feel like expressing myself. I guess it's because I miss being cared for. I don't know exactly what it is I miss but there is a list of small things that come to mind.

I miss being admired, even from across the room...

I miss being swept off my feet...

I miss dancing with someone, and really meanng it...

I miss being smiled at like I'm the only person in the world...

I miss being held for long periods of time when I know theres a million other things that could be done...

I miss the long hours of nothing but laughter...

I miss being told how beautiful I am....even if I put myself down...(especially when I put myself down)

I miss having someone I can completely trust...with my life, love, everything...

I miss the small kisses that never stop...no matter how hard we try...or need to...

I miss cuddling...the type that makes the rest of the world go blank...

I miss  staring into another's eyes...knowing there is nothing that can take that moment...

I miss all the times I got calls...only to hear 'I just wanted to say I love you'...

I miss knowing that there is someone in the world that feels as strongly about me as I do for them.

Well, things are interesting once again. Don't know really where to turn. So much going on and yet it feels as if things are standing still. I beleive this could be from the stress of dealing with everyone's problems on top of the added pressure of being back in school...my last semester of highschool! I can't wait to get the GPA's and ranks! *crosses fingers* It would be so awesome if Manda and I could get 1st and 2nd...I mean duh, she's a dead giveaway for top, but it's a close race for me. I was thrid last time I heard but then that was the middle of last year. This year I have done so good, only one A- if that and one A+ if not two! I'm so nervous about it!

I'm single...I'm starting to like being able to say that, but then when I see my friends & their relationships, I get kinda depressed feeling. I keep asking myself what in the world is wrong with me, even though I know it's not me...I have quite a few guys who like me at this point. That sparks the question, how will I know if it's the right one, even though I know that answer will never be found without trying, and possibly failing...maybe even several times . Hey, it's better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all. At least I keep telling myself that, heh.

Yeah, it's kinda hard to deal with after being in a relationship constantly for around 3 years now.. I wrote something the other night...i think I'll post it after this one...just a few thoughts I had. Most of them have to do with Chris...who few people have heard about, even my friends. Well, I guess I'll get to posting that.

Take care and God Bless everyone!

~Tals~

Well, my life as usual is a total...confusion. I'm really trying to focus hard and where I'm going. I have a few choices on what college to attend...one near home and one not. The one away is a better college, i've gotten some scholarships there but it doesn't have anything to do with my intended major. The one near has a few good options...it has a minor in Archaeology, which is my interest, plus my friend Laura may be going there and she and I could room together. Plus, it's just close enough to be able to get help from the rentals in emergencies, but far enough away to be seperate from them. Not to mention most of the people I care about will be near by and trips home for the holidays won't cost so much...plus I'd be able to hang out with everyone who is sticking around too...plus all my friends still in school...fun fun! I also have my ful tuition, books, and $2000 dollars of brightflight for me there! I guess the one nearest is the best choice it seems but my education means a whole lot too...I guess I just have to wait and see how things play out?

Well, I've gotta sew up my pants...one of the pockets ripped out in the back...just peachy...well, g2g toodles!

Currently Listening Perfect By Simple Plan see related